"Hold it steady," Arnold said, standing behind Elise as she stood, rifle shakily in her hands, aiming down sights at a nearby bird perched in a tree. She could feel her fathers presence, even though he was standing a few feet away, not touching her at all. Arnold always had a rather overwhelming presence, and it was one of the things she hated about him. Elise took a long breath, blinked a few times and then felt her finger gently squeeze the trigger. A pop. The bird fell. Elise felt a rush of adrenaline she'd never felt before, and she grinned, turning to face her father who looked proud as hell. Arnold reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, patting it.
"Nice shot, kiddo," he said, "very very nice. You have much better aim than I did at your age. Let's go collect 'em." "Is there a reason you're teaching me to use guns?" Elise asked as they started to walk towards the tree. "Well," Arnold said, scratching his cheek, "For one you're a woman. The world is going to hate you regardless of how you act or who you wind up being. Powerful, disempowered, either way you're going to never be enough for someone, and people may want to hurt you. It's my job, as your parent, to teach you not to let them do that." As they reached the tree, Arnold knelt down and picked up the bird by the neck, admiring it. "Nice clean shot, right through," he said, "that was instant death, they didn't suffer. But don't take the wrong message away here, alright? This is for protection, or for hunting. Those are the only times guns are justifiable. Never use one without reasonable cause." Elise nodded, smiling at her father and her kill. "You promise?" Arnold asked. "I promise," she said excitedly. And she'd keep that promise. Until the day she was scorned. *** Palmer was sitting in front of her vanity, putting on makeup, while Sarah came back into the bedroom from the bathroom, having showered and wearing just her underwear. As she stopped behind Palmer, she leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, making Palmer blush. Sarah patted her on the shoulders and then headed to her bags, where she kept a change of clothes. While Sarah dressed, Palmer continued looking at herself in the mirror, before stopping applying blush and sighing. "...I think...I think I wanna tell my mom," Palmer said, making Sarah turn around as she tugged her shirt down. "Tell her what?" "About us. We told my friends, but I think it's time everyone knew, and my mom and I are close, and I want her to understand me, even if she likely already kinda knows, I want it to be clear," Palmer said, turning around in the chair to face Sarah, who happily sat on her lap and kissed her. "You're just so eager to show me off, aren't you?" Sarah asked, making Palmer giggle and blush. "My life has, uh...been full of abandonment. I never really had friends growing up, my dad stopped loving me and then died abruptly, and...and then I really got to know you, and you not only are here but you WANT to be here, with me, specifically. Nobody's ever wanted to be with me. Seems like everyone's always run away from me. So yeah, I do wanna show how much I appreciate you." Sarah smiled and rested her forehead on Palmer's, hands on her shoulders. "You're so damn cute and sappy," Sarah said, chuckling, "if that's what you want, then we'll make a thing of it, yeah? We'll get a cake and everything." Palmer turned back around and continued applying makeup while Sarah finished getting dressed. As Palmer started to do her eyes, she found them wandering in the mirror reflection to watch Sarah and she blushed again. How had she gotten so lucky? Not only was it her first relationship, but it was also the healthiest relationship she'd had of any in her life, aside from the one she had with her sister. So many people struggled to find that someone to love them, and she'd gone through a rough patch, sure, but she'd gotten something so good in the end. So why didn't it feel like she deserved it? "What kind of cake do you think matches our announcement?" Sarah asked. "Um," Palmer said, smacking her lips, "...well, for being queer we're pretty boring, so how about vanilla?" Sarah threw her head back and cackled as she sat on the bed, pulling her boots up while Palmer went back to her makeup, smirking. She loved making Sarah loved. She longed to hear that sound. All her life Palmer had doubted every aspect of herself; her sense of humor, her appearance, her worth. Sarah had quelled all of that, and now instead of a stormy sea, she was a tranquil lake. And she never wanted to lose that. *** Adam couldn't wait to get off work. He had planned a special night for himself and Regina, the last before she was going to start working a lot again, and he was so excited to see her. Not only that, but they had a lot of things to discuss, especially now in light of the proposal, like letting his apartment go and moving in with her and the logistics of married life in general. But that being said, none of it made him nervous in the slightest. If anything, Adam had never felt more confident. As he finished the last customer in his line, he checked his watch, his nails tapping nervously on the cash register. Soon. Soon enough he could go home. Just then he noticed Palmer and Sarah approaching, holding hands. Sarah quickly let go and headed off in another direction as Palmer approached the register, Adam smiling at her. "Hey kid," he said, "you here for something specific, or?" "Where are the cakes?" Palmer asked. "They are," Adam said, turning and pointing back to their right, "allll the way back there, and are kinda stuffed near the bread, for some reason. I guess cause it's all bakery to them. Why, is it someones birthday?" "Kinda," Palmer said, smiling, shrugging as she headed off, waving bye to Adam. Palmer found Sarah in the bakery department already, looking at a loaf of Hawaiian bread. Palmer rested her chin on Sarah's shoulder, making her smile at her before plopping the loaf back on the shelf and, hand in hand, they continued towards the area with the cakes and other various sweets. Unbeknownst to them, at the front of the store, Elise had entered. She had a guitar case strapped to her back and was looking anxiously. Adam, who had answered the phone at his register to speak to his manager, noticed her immediately - after all, it wasn't often people came in wearing instrument cases - but then refocused his attention on the phone, leaving Elise to her peace. She headed through the aisles, looking up and down each one, before finally spying Palmer and Sarah near the bakery. Elise stopped dead in her tracks and exhaled. She took the guitar case from her back, slung it around to the front and, kneeling, unzipped it. She reached within, her hands gripping around the cold metal of the rifle, and knew what she was about to do would change her life. *** Emily was sitting at the kitchen table, smoking, reading through a magazine while Reggie stood at the counter, chopping meat for dinner. Emily glanced over and tapped her cigarette into the ashtray before popping it back between her lips. After a moment of realizing she was being looked at, Regina put her knife down and looked back at Emily. "What?" Reggie asked. "What are you making?" Emily asked. "I am making Palmer's favorite dinner," Regina said, "she called me this morning, said she wanted to have a special dinner, and is bringing a cake, and asked for this specifically, so I'm going to make it. If she spent the time to drive all the way back down here just for this, it must be important, and the least I can do is make her her favorite dinner to ease the tension." Emily leaned back in her chair, taking a long drag. "Why do you think there's gonna be tension?" she asked. "Because she said she wanted to tell us all something," Regina said, "and the tension I'm trying to cut down is hers, not mine. The last thing she should feel when doing something like this is-" "Mom," Dodie said as she entered the house, backpack still on, Emily and Regina surprised to see her as she came into the kitchen, Nona by her side. "What...what are you doing home?" Regina asked, wiping her hands on a hand towel on the counter before coming around and kneeling in front of the girls, asking, "did you walk home together?" "Mhm," Dodie said, "Nona can't go home yet, so I said she could come here. They let us out early cause something's going on at the grocery store up the street." Regina and Emily exchanged a glance, before Emily stood up and walked briskly to the living room, grabbing the remote control from the side table and flipping the television on, immediately changing channels until she landed on a local news network that was currently covering the situation. "and it's unclear exactly what the woman inside wants," the reporter said, standing in the grocery store parking lot, "but whatever it is, we've heard at least two shots fired from, what we assume, is a high powered rifle. Right now no casualities have been announced, but stay with us and we'll-" "That's Sarah's car," Dodie said, pointing at the screen, causing enormous unease to fill the room, as Regina and Emily exchanged a nervous look. "So much for easing the tension, eh?" Emily asked. *** Elise had gathered almost everyone at the back of the store, in the bakery department, except for some of the cashiers who had stayed behind at their posts, hiding. As she stalked the aisles, threatening to shoot anyone who moved, Palmer honestly couldn't believe what she was seeing. Elise - in her loose dirt brown skirt, her button down shirt that was misbuttoned at the top and her dark green army jacket - finally turned to look back at the crowd, and her eyes met with Palmers. "Why are you doing this?" Palmer asked quietly, "Can I help you somehow?" "You already helped me, and it made my life more miserable," Elise said, stuttering, "you...you should've let me jump. I would've been happier than I was afterwards." Palmer had a feeling why Elise was doing this, she didn't actually require an answer, but she felt like the longer she kept her engaged and distracted, the more of a chance they all stood at making it out of this bakery department alive. As Elise walked a bit away, just enough to be out of earshot, Sarah leaned into Palmer, squeezing her hand tightly and whispered. "What do we do?" she asked, her eyes darting back and forth between Elise and Palmer; she continued, "I mean...do you have any ideas of how to handle this? You're the one who knows her." "Only barely," Palmer replied, looking at Sarah, "like, and not even that much then. She's in my bookclub. We haven't hung out much beyond that. And the only reason I stopped her from jumping from the bell tower was because it was the right thing to do. It's not my fault she's taking that as some weird sign from above that I have feelings for her." "Nobody is saying it's your fault," Sarah said, "but you're the only one here with experience interacting with her. You're our best shot at talking her down. You did it once, you can do it again." Palmer stared at Sarah, somewhat surprised at this. "You want me to put myself in harms way?" Palmer asked and Sarah groaned, shaking her head. "No, no of course not," Sarah said, pulling Palmers hand to hers and kissing it softly, "Never. I'm just...I'm scared." "I know," Palmer replied quietly, "I know, me too. We all are." "Hey, stop talking!" Elise shouted as she came stomping back, aiming the rifle at Sarah, "I'm a very good shot, and I won't miss if I decide I want to hurt you, so be quiet. Just sit there and-" "Elise," Palmer said, causing Elise to look at her, her eyes clearly wet with tears, "...you don't have to do this. If you feel like you're not being heard, I assure you, I'm hearing you. We can get you help. I'll help you find somebody. I'm still gonna be your friend. Nothing you've done yet is irredeemable, okay? You haven't hurt anyone. We can turn this around, and it can work in your favor. Just put the rifle down." Elise sniffled and wiped her eyes on her arm, her voice low and shaky. "...you don't know what it's like, to go your whole life being ignored, only to have the one person who ever seemingly saw you not want you in the same way you want them," she mumbled. "I do know what it's like, actually, that's the thing. My father hated me. He treated me like garbage. So yeah, I do know what it's like to be ignored. And I ignored myself for so long as a result, because I figured, well, if he didn't want to know me, why should I bother knowing me? So I stayed on the straight and narrow, but the thing about the straight and narrow is there's no room for exploration," Palmer said, slowly standing up and approaching Elise, "there's no...there's no fun to be had. That sort of thing can only come from the beaten path. The unexplored trails. Those are the places you need to travel. That's why I recently discovered, and I'll help you discover it too, if you want." Elise finally smiled, albeit weakly, and nodded, before looking back at Sarah, the look on her face souring almost instantly again. Elise backed away from Palmer and raised the rifle again. "You already got me to stop doing what was right once, I won't let you do it again," she said. "You think this is what's right?" Palmer asked, "really? You jumping to your death, that's only affecting you, but shooting someone? That's affecting the person you shoot, everyone who loves them, and more. You're going to justify that as what's right?" Elise backed further away, almost as if she were trying to escape slowly without losing her sights on her target. Palmer, however, stayed where she was, hands slightly raised to show submission. "I'm sorry," Palmer finally said, "I'm sorry that...that you thought there might be something there wasn't, it was never my intention to hurt you. I just didn't want you to hurt yourself." "Well, I think we're well past that," Elise said, "and if I'm gonna hurt, why should I be the only one." Suddenly, and without warning, Adam came bounding over the donut display case behind Elise, causing her to turn on her heel in shock as he wrapped himself around her and took her to the floor, the rifle falling and going off, everyone around them screaming. As Adam wrestled with Elise to keep her to the ground, he suddenly felt something hard pressing into his side and his eyes widened as she grinned. Another shot. Adam was quickly rolled off her, lying on his back, as Elise grabbed her rifle and looked around. She then turned and raced towards the front of the grocery, only to immediately be apprehended once outside. She was in cuffs within seconds, and placed in the back of a car, as paramedics rushed inside. Sarah knelt over Palmer, running her hands through her hair and stroking her face, crying. "You're okay, you're gonna get help, they're already here and the hospital isn't far away," Sarah said, trying not to outright sob and instead stay brave, "you're gonna be okay, okay?" "Don't...leave..." Palmer whispered as they loaded her up on a gurney. "Don't leave you?" Sarah asked, standing with them. "Don't...leave...him," Palmer said, weakly, pointing at Adam on the floor who was motionless, surrounded by a pool of blood. Sarah nodded, then directed the next group of paramedics to Adam. The whole ordeal lasted maybe 5 minutes before they were both in the back of the ambulance, on their way to the same hospital. Lying there on their respective gurneys, feeling the road bump beneath the tires of the ambulance, Palmer reached out and took Adam's hand. He was unconscious, and she could feel herself slipping away. And then everything was quiet. *** Dodie was sick of hospitals. Sitting beside her aunt Emily and Nona, she couldn't help but feel as if she spent the majority of her time inside various medical facilities of one kind or another lately. Regina, pacing in front of them, her eyes red from crying, finally sighed and looked at Emily, who was doing a crossword in a small book. Emily looked up at Regina and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" she asked. "Do you have change? I wanna make a call," Regina said, and Emily started digging through her purse to find some change. Just as she did, a doctor approached from behind, coming from down the hall, stopping at Regina who turned to face him; she eyed him momentarily before asking softly, "is she...is my daughter..." "She's lost quite a bit of blood," he said, "normally this wouldn't be an issue, because we'd just ask the parent to donate, but for some reason, you're not a match and considering her father died recently, we're unsure where to turn. We want to ask if you'd be okay if she got donated blood. Now obviously there's risks involved in this, but-" "Don't do anything, I know who can help," Regina said, taking Emily's change and walking off. "Where are you going?" the doctor asked after her. "To make a phone call," Regina replied. She headed up a flight of stairs, ensuring she had true privacy, and then pumped the quarters into the phone. She exhaled, picked up the receiver and dialed. She never wanted to do this. She never wanted to complicate things further. But she also never expected her daughter to get shot, so desperate times call for desperate measures. A few rings. She groaned. What if they weren't home? Finally on the fifth ring, they answered. "It's Reggie," Regina said, "um...Palmer's been shot. I need you to come down here and give blood. Please. Okay, thank you, I'll meet you at the front." She hung up and exhaled, brushing her hair from her eyes before noticing Emily standing behind her. "...did you just leave the girls alone?" Regina asked. "They have a doctor," Emily replied, "...who was that?" No answer. "Reggie, who did you just call?" Emily asked again, and Regina chuckled, mostly out of nervousness. "...her father," she answered. And for what felt like the millionth time in the past year, the Hurks girls lives were about to drastically change again.
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If there was one thing Regina Hurks had never expected to do, it was get married again.
In fact, she hadn't even really anticipated it the first time, truth be told. Her whole life, growing up, she never once dreamt of her wedding or fantasized about her future husband, like all her friends had. But now, standing in the nearby woods in an oversized sweater as the cool wind nipped at her face, watching Adam pace through the bushes and past the trees, searching up and down in every direction, Regina couldn't help but recognize the difference between Adam and Michael. She'd married Michael because everyone expected her to. She was going to marry Adam because she wanted to. And if that wasn't love, then fuck, what was? *** EARLIER THAT DAY Palmer was lying on the bed in her underwear, watching Sarah get dressed on Palmer's deskchair. As Sarah hopped up and tugged her jeans up over her hips, she noticed Palmer watching her and she smiled, winking at her, making Palmer laugh. Palmer sat up and crawled to the end of the bed, as Sarah walked towards it. Palmer put her hands on Sarah's hips and pressed her lips against her tummy, kissing it as Sarah stroked her hair. "You're so affectionate in the morning," Sarah said softly, "it's so cute." "...maybe you don't have to leave," Palmer whispered, "maybe you can stay and we can all go out for breakfast." "You want me to stay?" Sarah asked, as Palmer nodded, glancing up at her. "Yeah, and you, me, Arthur and Anita could go out to breakfast and, ya know, not be so private," Palmer said, "I think I'm ready. After what happened with Dodie...I think I do want to start coming out to everyone; family, friends, everybody." Sarah smiled and nodded, kissing the top of Palmer's head and making her blush. Sarah had had a few girlfriends here and there, but never anything serious, and certainly never anything where her respective partner would alter everyones perception of her just for the clarity of their relationship. That made Sarah feel extremely special, like she was actually deserving of Palmer's adoration. Sarah said she was going to run down the street and get some coffee, and that they would call the others when she got back so they could all meet at a diner and have breakfast. Watching Sarah leave her room, Palmer laid back down on the bed and stretched, yawning, before rolling onto her side and reaching for the landline beside the bed on the floor and picking it up, dialing. A few rings, and then Aunt Emily answered. "Hi Aunt Emily," Palmer said, "Um...I need to talk to you about something kind of serious. About me. And coming out." *** Regina sighed as she sat herself down on the couch in the living room, the lights all dimmed and the TV on mute. Adam quickly showed up to her side with a plate of breakfast for her, along with a mug of coffee, which she happily took, thanking him. Adam then seated himself beside her, watching her eat, just admiring her every movement. After a few minutes, Regina glanced towards him and smirked, raising an eyebrow. "That's kinda spooky," she said, "you just gonna watch me eat?" "Basically," Adam said, reaching out and petting some hair, pushing it back behind her ear and smiling, "I like these small moments. These just...quiet moments where it's just you and me, and I get to watch you do mundane shit. That's when you're at your most beautiful, when you think nobody is looking." Regina bit her lip to keep herself from happy crying. She still, even after all this time, hadn't gotten used to Adam's genuine sweetness. He was always complimenting her, doing things for her, and she always felt like she didn't deserve them because she'd spent so long with a man who had convinced her - through his lack of actions - that she didn't deserve it. Regina shut her eyes as Adam ran his hand down your cheek and then further, down her neck and letting it rest on her shoulder. "Hey," Adam said quietly, "let's have dinner tonight, okay? Just the two of us. We can get pizza for Dodie and she can invite her friend and they can hang out and have fun while you and I just have a romantic dinner. I'll cook everything, too. I just want to do something special." "We just did something special," Regina said, snickering, eating her hashbrown, "like, we just went on a little getaway and everything." "Yeah but that was so easy, all we did was make a reservation and drive there. I want to do this," Adam said, taking Regina's hand - the one holding her mug of coffee - by the wrist and lifting it to his lips, smooching it gently, making her blush again. She nodded, understanding, and he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. As she watched Adam climb off the couch and head back to the kitchen, she really couldn't help but feel like she'd won some kind of lottery. Seemed like all her friends who'd never gotten married or had gotten divorced still couldn't find a nice guy to be with, and sure he was almost half her age, but...something about Adam made Regina feel like she was in her twenties again. She loved him. And after tonights dinner, she'd love him even more. Just then, Dodie dawdled into the living room from the hall, still in her pajamas and rubbing her eyes. It was the weekend, after all, so she'd slept in. After her recent outdoor ordeals and therapy with her sister, Dodie had become extra tired, it seemed, so when she needed the rest, Regina let her have it. Dodie climbed onto the couch beside her mother, who gave her her other hashbrown, which Dodie took happily and began munching on, resting her head on her mothers arm, pulling her knees to her chest while she ate. Michael used to have a rule about not having feet on the couch, but who the hell cared? Why police comfort? That was how Regina saw it, anyway. So Michaels rule died with him. After a short time, Adam returned to the living room with a whole breakfast just for Dodie, and then sat down beside her, Dodie squished between Adam and her mother, and happily eating away at her breakfast. This was what family was supposed to be, she thought. This was what she had missed out on, and now she was getting it, and she couldn't be happier. If only Palmer could've had the same thing at her age. Palmer had lost her adolescence to isolation, and Dodie felt so bad about that, but she'd feel bad about it later. Right now she had hashbrowns. Right now she had family. *** "So you're treating us to breakfast?" Arthur asked, and Palmer shook her head, jerking her thumb at Sarah, sitting beside her in the booth. "No, she's treating us to breakfast. I'm in college, what makes you think I have money?" Palmer replied, everyone laughing. Arthur and Anita were sitting opposite Palmer and Sarah in a small, nearby local diner that the college kids often frequented. They chatted and ordered, Sarah and Palmer splitting a platter, while Anita and Arthur each got their own plate. As they waited for their meals to be made and brought out, Palmer cleared her throat, took a long sigh and tossed her hair, blushing when she felt Sarah running her fingers through it behind her. "So, I actually do have an ulterior motive for asking you guys to have breakfast," Palmer said, "cause you guys are my friends and I'm sick of keeping things from you, and from myself too. Anita, do you remember when you dragged me to that party?" "Uh, vaguely," Anita said, "I attend so many that it's hard to keep track of them all." "Miss popularity over here," Arthur said, cutting into his eggs as Anita smacked him in the back of the head, making him laugh. "Anyway, so, at that party I started talking to this guy," Palmer said, starting to sound nervous, but that nervousness immediately melted the moment she felt Sarah's hand flat on her back; she calmed herself and, after taking a few breaths, continued, "we eventually went back to the dorm and...well, you know where that story always ends. Anyway, after that I...I realized that it felt wrong, and not just because it was my first time and your first time is always awkward, but because I..." Why was this so hard? Palmer glanced at Sarah, who just smiled warmly at her, her hand running up and down her back. At the sight of her smile, Palmer felt herself grow calmer, like no matter what words came out, it would all be okay. Palmer exhaled and nodded, shut her eyes and then looked back at her friends. "Because I realized after that that I actually wasn't-" And just then Elise was standing at the side of the table, clutching her books to her chest, smiling at the group. "Oh, hey!" Anita said, scooting further down the booth, forcing Arthur to move down as well, so Elisa could sit down with them. "What's going on?" Elisa asked, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Um, I was in the middle of...of saying that, uh," Palmer continued, struggling again, "that after that night I realized what I really wanted wasn't what I'd gotten, and the reason it felt so uncomfortable was because...well, to put it vaguely, Sarah and I have been seeing one another for a good while now, if that helps clarify anything." Arthur nodded, still eating, as Anita reached across the table and high fived Palmer and Sarah. "Girl, you got nothing to be afraid of, most of the girls on my track team are either bisexual or outright queer, so no shame or judgment on my end, that's for sure," Anita said. "Yeah Palmer, we're friends, you know I'm not gonna dislike you for what makes you happy, cause as your friend I wanna see you happy, and after the year you've had, lord knows you deserve it," Arthur said. Palmer couldn't feel more delighted. This was the response she'd hoped for, and the one she'd expected as well, considering she didn't think her friends were bigots by any means. Still, the nervousness and anxiety of admitting it to them had made her conjur up some ridiculous scenarios in which they hated her as a result. Palmer then looked towards Elise, who was no longer smiling, and instead looking down at the table. "Are you alright?" Anita asked, elbowing Elise gently. "I..I thought..." Elisa stuttered, before looking up, her eyes catching Palmers, before climbing out of the booth hastily and racing towards the door. Nobody knew it at the moment...but they'd lit a fuse. *** "It was nice of your mom and Adam to let me come over and order us pizza!" Nona said, biting into another slice as she and Dodie sat on the floor of Dodie's bedroom. Dodie nodded, picking up another piece for herself and biting into it as well. It wasn't often that they ordered in, and even less often that Dodie got her own entire entree to herself, so this certainly seemed like a special occasion. "I think pizza might be the best food ever," Dodie said, "it's got everything you need. It has bread and meat and cheese and vegetables. It's like they took the food pyramid and put it onto a pyramid!" Nona and Dodie laughed at this analogy, and Dodie realized she hadn't had this much fun in a while, and never before with a real friend. She then felt a twinge of resentment at herself for not having spent more time with Nona lately, but between therapy and whatnot, life had simply been too hectic for friendship. At least they had tonight, she thought. "Did they give you anymore cheese packets?" Nona asked, looking around. "I..don't think so, I think we used them," Dodie said, "but I can go to the kitchen and get more! I'll be right back!" Dodie hopped up, wiped her hands on her shorts and headed out into the hallway. As she walked down the hall towards the kitchen, she could hear her mother and Adam talking quietly. It sounded liker her mother was crying. Dodie stopped and leaned against the wall, listening closely, careful not to make a sound. "It's just that every day I want to wake up and make your day better," Adam said, "that's all I wanna do. I mean I have my own ambitions, but my priorities lean heavily in your favor, and a lot of those ambitions are not only things I'd like to achieve but also like to achieve so I can give you more as well as a result. I understand if the age gap is too much, or if-" "It's not," Regina replied, "it's not at all. You make me so happy, you make me feel beautiful and you make me realize how much time I spent on a man who didn't do either of those things, and how much I enjoy it now that I've experienced the opposite side of the spectrum. So yes, my answer is yes, I'll marry you." Dodie froze in place. She quickly reached into the nearby hall closet, grabbed her favorite large coat, pulled it on over herself and raced past them and out the front door. Adam quickly rose from the table, spinning around, confused at the blur that was Dodie. He chased after her, but she was already long gone in the darkness by the time he got outside. He could hear her footsteps, however, leading to the nearby woods, and knew where she'd go. Adam quickly came back inside, explained what was happening, and before long, he and came back in, explained to Regina where he was going, and together they took off into the night. Therapy was helping, it was true, but Dodie still had a ways to go it seemed. *** "That was weird, right? Elise?" Palmer asked as she sat on the bed and pulled her boots off while Sarah took her jewelry off in front of the vanity; Palmer continued, "like...she just took off. She didn't even respond. Makes me feel like maybe she was offended or something." "She does come off as somewhat conservative," Sarah said, shrugging as she turned around in the chair and looked at Palmer, "but whatever, it's her loss if she doesn't want to come to book club or be friends with you anymore. You have such nice legs." "Oh is that a fact?" Palmer asked, raising her legs up and waving them at Sarah, who laughed. Just then there was a knock at the door, and Palmer excused herself, going to answer it. As she headed into the living area of the dorm and tugged the front door open, she was surprised to find, of all people, Elise standing there, her eyes red and her hair messy. "Hi, hello," Elise said weakly, not looking Palmer in the face, "I'm sorry about earlier. That was probably rude of me." "Listen, if my sexuality makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to-" "No! No it isn't that at all!" Elise said, wiping her nose on her sweater, "no, um...actually quite the opposite. When you came up to the belltower to tell me not to jump, it was...it was like the first time I'd ever been seen by someone else in my life and I felt really special. Felt like my space in the world was finally recognized, if that makes sense? My whole life it feels like everyone's looked right through me, but now someone saw me, and it felt good." "Well good! That's what friends are supposed to do for one another!" Palmer said brightly, grinning, folding her arms and leaning against the door. "Yeah, but...but I didn't wanna be friends," Elise said, "I wanted...oh god this is so embarrassing. I didn't know you were...but I am....and I...I had fantasized about asking you...and..." "Oh," Palmer said, genuinely surprised, "oh, I'm...I'm sorry, I had no idea. I'm flattered, I am, you're very smart and sweet, so it's nice to hear that someone like you would be interested in me, but, uh...hah...obviously I'm taken. But, you know, if I weren't I wouldn't say 'no', so that has to count for something right?" Elise smiled weakly and nodded, before quietly apologizing and starting to back away. As she headed down the hall she turned back around when she heard another voice at the door, only to see - as it was being closed shut - Sarah approaching and kissing Palmer before pulling her back into the dorm. Elise's blood boiled, her brow furrowed in rage, and her teeth gritted. Elise walked across the campus, got to her own dorm and then slammed the door to her bedroom shut. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream. All her life she'd waited to be seen. Now she was seen and it was by someone she couldn't even be with. She knew what she had to do. *** If there was one thing Regina Hurks had never expected to do, it was get married again. In fact, she hadn't even really anticipated it the first time, truth be told. Her whole life, growing up, she never once dreamt of her wedding or fantasized about her future husband, like all her friends had. But now, standing in the nearby woods in an oversized sweater as the cool wind nipped at her face, watching Adam pace through the bushes and past the trees, searching up and down in every direction, Regina couldn't help but recognize the difference between Adam and Michael. She'd married Michael because everyone expected her to. She was going to marry Adam because she wanted to. And if that wasn't love, then fuck, what was? "I wish I could do more for her," Reggie finally said, sounding exasperated, "...I feel like I work too much, and then instead of talking to her myself, I did what most parents do, and instead schlepped her off onto some therapist instead of being a mom and taking the effort to hear her. Now look at how she feels. It's no wonder she'd run." Adam stood up from his knelt position, flashlight in his hand, and turned to face Regina. "She's not running because of you," Adam said, "she's running because of me. She doesn't want someone to replace her father. Even in recognizing how awful he might've actually been, it's still weird to have someone replace him. Maybe it's too soon. Maybe we should wait." "I waited long enough to be happy and loved in a way that made me feel good," Regina said, approaching Adam, putt her hands over his shoulders and leaning on her toes, kissing him, adding quietly, "I'm not gonna wait anymore." Adam smiled, kissed her back, and nodded, understanding. "Listen, take your flashlight and head back to the house, we can't leave a child there unattended. I'll continue to look for Dodie and if I'm not back in a half hour, we'll call the cops, okay?" Adam said, and Regina agreed. She walked off, disappearing into the dark sky, leaving Adam alone now. He put his hands on his hips and exhaled, before turning and heading through some brush, and entering a small clearing. He walked for a little while more, before hearing some sticks rustling overhead, and shone his light upwards, only to grin as he saw Dodie sitting in a tree, her face buried in her arms. Adam put the flashlight between his teeth and started his ascent towards her. Once in the tree himself, he scooched right up beside her and sighed. "I know it's weird," he said, "having some new random guy come in and play dad. I know that...that despite it all, you loved your father, and that even in light of how well we get along, I'm NOT your father, but Dodie, I just wanna make your mom happy, and she deserves that, and I wanna give you the best childhood that I can as well and-" "It's not about you replacing him," Dodie whispered, catching Adam off guard. "Well," he asked, now confused, half laughing nervously as he replied, "if it's not about that, then what is it about?" Dodie shifted her face away, glancing at Adam, their eyes locking before she sighed. "...what if you die too?" she asked. "...Dods, I'm...I'm not going anywhere," Adam said, "I mean, I'm healthy, I'm young, I'm not-" "So was dad," Dodie said, sniffling, wiping her nose on her sweater sleeve, trying not to cry, "he didn't get sick, it was an accident, which means it could happen to anyone. Even you. And I don't want you to die, Adam. I don't want the same thing to happen to you just because you're with me." That was the moment Adam realized that whatever Dodie was struggling with went far beyond grief or loss or regular mourning. From her words, and the context, she sounded like she felt cursed, and had somehow contributed to her fathers death merely by being with him at the time of it. Adam shook his head, his short curly black hair swaying as he reached over and put an arm around Dodie, pulling her closer to him in the tree. She didn't hesitate at all, and instead nestled up right beside him. "People often try to deny the reality of life to children, and a lot of times they either come out ill-equipped to deal with it as a result. But sometimes, Dodie, sometimes a child goes through something so traumatic that it fundamentally rewires their brain. When I was 12, my mother was shot. She was just...randomly gunned down in a grocery store parking lot. And the only reason I think it happened was because I wasn't with her at the moment. I'd stopped at the front of the store to buy some temporary tattoos and candy. In that one moment, that one...brief...moment that I wasn't at her side, she was taken away. These things happen regardless of your placement, is what I'm trying to say. You were with your father and it happened, I was not with my mother and it happened. The proximity isn't the reason. They just happen. But the thing is, these things - while certainly life altering - also give the survivors the ability to see life for what it is. Fleeting and...cruel and...something you have to fight to have happiness in. Do you understand?" Dodie looked up at him and nodded slowly, surprised to hear him speak about himself so openly. Adam continued. "I blamed myself, for a long long time. Is it only natural for a man who lost his parent to fall in love with a woman who's lost her husband? Maybe. Maybe what happened to me in adolescence makes me the ideal candidate in adulthood for her. But Dodie, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't." Dodie and Adam locked eyes, and she nodded slowly before burying her face in his side. Adam smiled, kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. "Come on kiddo, your mom's gonna be worried," he said, "Let's get you back, the pizza's probably cold." "That reminds me, Nona wanted more cheese packets," Dodie said as they started to climb down the tree together, making Adam laugh as they did. "Well, I can't do much, but I can do that," Adam remarked. Once on the ground, Adam lifted Dodie onto his shoulders and together they headed back to the house. Adam had made a promise, a promise that he wouldn't go away like her father had. And in just under 24 hours that promise would be tested. Palmer woke up, smelling coffee, and smiled. She loved waking up to the smell of coffee, something she'd rarely drank before meeting Sarah. As she rolled over onto her back and looked up at the ceiling overhead, noticing the poster of a famous pop star from the early 2000s, she chuckled to herself. She'd forgotten that she had spent the night in Sarah's bed, and she loved being reminded. The bedroom door opened and Sarah walked in, still in her pajamas, handing Palmer a mug as Palmer sat up, graciously taking it and thanking her before lifting it to her lips and sipping gingerly. Sarah seated herself on the bed, cross legged, drinking from her own mug.
"So," Sarah said, "we need to talk about, ya know...the woods." "Yeah, I figured," Palmer said, "...I told Dodie everything that afternoon while we were waiting for you." "Yeah, I know, because she's talked to me about it since then," Sarah said, licking the aftertaste of coffee from her lips, "and that's good, she should know. She shouldn't be kept in the dark any longer about anything. But the real question is...do you wanna tell everyone else? I'll support whatever you decide, I just wanna know. Like, I know how scary it can be to come out, so if you're not ready yet then-" "I think...I think I am," Palmer said quietly, tapping her nails on her mug, "that's the crazy thing, I think I AM ready. I mean...I think my mom knows, but I want it to be out in the open, you know? I spent so long believing something totally untrue about myself, and I'm so happy now, and I want others to feel that happiness." Sarah smiled, nodding, before leaning in and kissing Palmer. "You're so cute when you're excited," she said softly. Just then an alarm went off somewhere in the room. Palmer looked around, then her eyes widened. She quickly handed Sarah her mug, now empty, and rolled over to the edge of the bed, reaching out in her pile of clothes on the floor by the bed, finally finding her digital watch and realizing she was going to be late. She got up, quickly dressed and apologized for having to leave so suddenly, saying she would be back as soon as she could. She just had to do one thing today. Therapy with her little sister. *** Dodie was already in Dr. Mariel Burrows office, sitting in the sandbox as usual, as she waited for her sister to arrive. It was only a few minutes after the appointment was supposed to start, but she couldn't help but feel it was ridiculous that Palmer couldn't even show up on time just once for her. Dodie continued digging into the sandbox, just enjoying the feeling of the texture on her fingers. When she looked up she saw Mariel smiling down at her, and she smiled back weakly. "What?" Dodie asked. "You really like to dig I've noticed," Dr. Mariel said. "Does that mean something? You're a therapist, right? Everything is supposed to mean something isn't it?" Dodie asked, causing Dr. Mariel to chuckle and shrug. "Sometimes just digging is just digging," she replied. Just then the door swung open and Palmer entered, apologizing profusely as she shut the door behind her. She pulled her jacket off and seated herself in a chair, watching her sister dig as Dodie seemed to ignore her presence entirely. After a moment of watching her, Palmer finally lifted her eyes to meet Dr. Mariels, and they smiled at one another, acknowledging themselves. "Hello Palmer," Dr. Mariel said, "thank you so much for coming in. I know this is, perhaps, a little awkward for you but I and Dodie both appreciate it." "Where were you?" Dodie asked, finally turning around in the sand on her knees and facing Palmer. "Um, I was with Sarah," Palmer said, "I slept in a little, I'm sorry." "It's okay, I was just curious," Dodie said, shrugging, before standing up, wiping her hands off on her dress and sitting down on the couch opposite Palmers chair. Dr. Mariel then crossed her legs and exhaled. She knew she had a lot that she had to say. "Palmer, Dodie told me about this last excursion you had with her, in the woods," Dr. Mariel said, "and I just want to say how good a sister you are to brave the elements and risk yourself to find her. That being said, Dodie also told me what you told her, about your relationship with her trainer, and so I'd like congratulate you on finding yourself because so many never do, and then sharing that part of yourself with your sister so she would understand." Palmer nodded, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. "Am I just here to be praised?" Palmer asked, laughing nervously. "Absolutely not," Dr. Mariel said, "no, you're here because Dodie wanted to ask you a question, and she wanted me to mediate." This got Palmer's attention, and she looked at her little sister, who was looking down at her shoes. Palmer suddenly felt something in her guts, and didn't like the look of where this was headed. Dodie wiped her nose on her sleeve and sighed, kicking her feet gently against the couch. "Um..." Dodie said, "I don't care about who you love, I'm happy that you're happy with yourself, but...why did it have to be Sarah?" A hush fell over the room, and Palmer crooked her head, confused. "Because..." Dodie continued, "because she was mine." And now Palmer got it. Dodie was experiencing the sensation of loss for a second time in recent memory, and she hated it. Palmer shut her eyes, trying not to cry. She hadn't even considered what this relationship might do to not just her family but her sister in particular. She'd always known Dodie and Sarah had been close as student and trainer, but when it came time to finally discover herself, she'd just picked the option that had made her question herself to begin with, without any thinking of the consequences of her actions. "So," Dodie asked again, "...why Sarah?" *** Emily found herself doing the families laundry more than she had originally expected, but considering they were allowing her to stay in the house as long as she wanted, she couldn't really complain. As she finished loading the machine, soap and all, and shut the lid she heard the door to the laundry room creak and turned to see Adam standing there, eating a sandwich he'd clearly bought at the store, still partially in its wrapping. "Reggie's not here," Emily said, starting the machine before turning to fully face him, leaning against the machine, "if she's who you're here to see." "I know she's not here," Adam said, "I just came by so I'd be here when she was. Trying to fulfill that whole 'partner at home' vibe for her since, ya know, her dead husband can't." "You're such a romantic," Emily said, pulling out her pack of smokes and lighting one, stuffing the rest of the pack back into her coat pocket; she leaned against the machine and started smoking, as Adam stood there in the doorway watching her. After a minute or two she asked, "you're not gonna tell her I smoked in the house, are you?" "So long as you don't tell her I bought an awful grocery store sandwich," Adam said. "Scouts honor," Emily replied, "you make food all the time, why didn't you just make a sandwich?" "Because I, contrary to popular belief, am lazier than I appear," Adam remarked, making her chuckle as he finished the sandwich and balled up the wrapper in his fist before jamming it into his back pants pocket and, arms now folded, asked, "so...can I ask you a question?" "I don't see why not," Emily said, taking another long drag. "What would you think if I were going to ask Regina to marry me?" Adam asked, "I'm just spitballin' ideas here, but...this weekend was a very good getaway, and...and it made me think about what I want from a future, and I decided I like what I have already, so why not make that my future, right?" Emily was speechless. She'd been completely caught off guard, and this was the last thing she'd ever expected Adam to ask her about. She took another few puffs from her cigarette before shaking her head and sighing. "She's not even my sister, but...if I had to pick between you or my brother to be with her, I think you're the far more preferable choice, and that's even if he were alive. I think the mere fact you even wanna ask me shows how considerate you are of how she'll react to it, because you don't wanna make her uncomfortable," Emily said, clearing her throat and coughing momentarily before continuing, "but...if you think the time is right, and you think you'd be happy with her and you think you make her happy, then I don't see why not. Have you ever been married?" "Nope," Adam said, smirking, running a hand through his short, messy black hair, "no, never even been in a really long term relationship before but...when you know you know, right? Isn't that what they say?" "That's what I hear," Emily said, "can't speak from my own experience." Adam nodded, the two of them smiling politely as he turned to leave and Emily turned back to the washing machine to fiddle with the dials. Suddenly Adam stopped, turned back and looked at her. Emily turned and glanced over her shoulder at him, a confused look playing on her face. "I'm sorry about your brother," Adam said, "I know you weren't on the best terms, but everyone around here has made it all about them and not about you at all, and I don't think that's fair, regardless of the relationships everyone had with him. He was family. I'm sorry things got so shitty and never got better." "...thank you," Emily said, genuinely touched, "you're a good man, Adam. Reggie could do worse." "Oh, rest assured, I'll prove that to her," Adam said, the both of them laughing as he exited. *** "How can I put this," Palmer said, smacking her lips and thinking, "um...so...these kinds of things aren't planned, you know? Like, she and I talked a lot whenever I visited, and then when she brought you all those horse toys she asked me out, I mean, plain and simple. She made the first move. That being said, that doesn't excuse the fact that I completely removed you from the equation and ignored your relationship with her and for that I'm sorry, but...Dodie...dad treated me like garbage most of my life." Dodie nodded. This was a fact, not an opinion, and even Dodie could see it plain as day when it was happening. Palmer continued. "And," she continued, "when I...well, when I realized that I didn't like what everyone expected me to, I just...I remembered her being very nice and asking me out and I guess I just decided to try it with her. It was sudden, sure, but it wasn't without its merit, it wasn't just because she happened to be there and also be like me. I didn't just choose the only immediately available option. I liked her. I liked talking to her. She's funny and she's smart and she's kind, and I love how she treats you. She's been so good for you, before and after dad. I guess all those contributing factors go into why I did what I did. But Dodie, I never wanted to take your friend away. I just...I couldn't help what I felt." Dodie nodded again, still not speaking. She believed her sister, she truly did. And she understood that people just kind of fell in love. Look at her mother and Adam, of all people. And yet she felt like the only thing left in this world that had been hers and hers alone had been taken from her, and she was angry. After a few moments of silence, Dodie looked up at Palmer and spoke. "...it just feels like you have friends and school and now Sarah, and mom has Adam, and...and I don't have anybody. Sarah was my person. Adam likes me, and we do things together, but it isn't the same. I'm mad at you, and I'm sorry, and I know I shouldn't be but I am." Palmer felt her heart break a little. She glanced across the room at Dr. Mariel, who merely shrugged, before she finally climbed off the chair and got on her knees in the sandbox by the couch. Palmer then reached out and took Dodie's hands, holding them gently, and the sisters looked into one anothers eyes. "She's not gone, Dod. She's still here. She'll always be your person. She's just my person too now, in a different way, but nobody is going to take away your friendship with her, okay? Least of all me, because I know how important she and horseback are to you," Palmer said, almost in tears, "but Dodie, I...I was lonely too. Yeah, I have friends at school, but it's not the same as it is with her. Dad loved you. He didn't love me. Mom loved me, but she was afraid to show it because it'd make dad mad. So I've gone most of my life feeling unloveable, unworthy of adoration, and...and I'm sorry but that just isn't fair. I want to be loved, and Sarah loves me." Dodie nodded. "You're right, it isn't fair," Dodie whispered, "I'm sorry daddy didn't love you. He should've. You're the best." Dodie leaned in and, pulling her hands from Palmers, hugged her big sister around the neck. Palmer, now crying, hugged Dodie in response, patting her back as she did. All in all, it turned out that therapy really was helpful. Who'd have guessed. In the end, Palmer called Adam and told him not to bother coming, and that she'd bring Dodie home, but first they were going to do something together. Something sisterly, whatever Dodie wanted. Their dad might've treated them unequally, but they refused to follow in that mindset. That's kind of the great thing about being around shitty adults, Palmer thought as they left the office and got into her car. You learn to be a better one by proxy when you reach that age. *** Palmer didn't even knock when she arrived back at Sarah's that night, she just walked right into the house as if she owned the place. Part of this was exhaustion, but part of it was the fact that she knew nobody but Sarah would be home. Her folks often had a little date they attended and it happened to be on this particular evening. As Palmer pulled off her leather jacket and put it on the coat rack by the door, heading up the stairs, running her hands through her hair and exhaling, all she could think of was wanting to take a shower. She finally reached the top of the stairs, which felt like climbing everest due to the emotional response that had been elicited by todays activities, and headed for Sarah's bedroom. She opened the door and then stopped in the doorway, because there, lying on the bed in lingerie with full garter belt and stockings, was Sarah. Palmer blushed and put a hand over her mouth, completely surprised by not just this view but the beauty it showed as well. After a moment, Sarah stood up and got off the bed, walking to Palmer, her hands on her shoulders, her thumbs rubbing gently against your collarbone. "Holy hell is this a nice thing to see after a long emotional day," Palmer said, "is this the kind of thing I'm in store for on a regular basis? I'm not complaining, for the record." "How could you when I look this good," Sarah replied, leaning in and kissing Palmer, leading her to the bed. A shower could wait. She'd need one after this night anyway. The hotel room door clicked and swung open, allowing Adam and Regina to enter, soaking wet but laughing. As Adam lugged their luggage into the room, Regina bolted to the bathroom and found some towels, with which she began drying her hair off. Adam pulled his shoes off and left them, absolutely sopping, in the corner of the room under one of the towels Regina had handed him. As she stood in the doorway of the bathroom, laughing at him, Adam couldn't help but feel great. Sure, they'd had a flat tire and gotten caught in a storm, but...but isn't that the kind of stuff couples are supposed to do? Have these funny little stories? Adam stood back up and pushed his wet hair back, his other hand on his hip, exhaling.
"I swear," he said, "this is the stuff romcoms are made of." "You say that like it's a bad thing," Regina replied, shaking her head out and putting the towel on her shoulder, "you know," she continued, "we could take a shower. Warm back up." Adam smiled, nodding. "That sounds like a fantastic idea," he said, walking past her into the bathroom, tugging his shirt off over his head and kissing her on the cheek. Regina turned, followed him into the bathroom and shut the door behind them. Of all the Hurks girls that day, Regina was the one having the best day. *** "This is all my fault," Palmer said, sitting on a rock in a small cave as Sarah stood behind her, running her fingers through her hair; Palmer continued, "Dodie doesn't know anything. Her entire world's been upended, and the fact that, now, even I'm being untruthful with her...that has to be confusing. I think, maybe, it's time to let everyone know what's going on." Sarah stopped and came around, kneeling in front of Palmer, putting her hands on her knees and looking her in the eyes. "Are you sure? That's...that's a big step. There's no going back after that," Sarah said, "I mean obviously I don't mind. My family knows who I am. And your mom and sister and Adam all seem very cool, so I don't think it'd be an issue there either. I just...I want you to be genuinely ready and not feel as though you're being forced into doing it for the sake of others comfort." "She's my little sister, Sarah," Palmer said, sniffling, rubbing her nose with the back of her wrist, "I'm, like...I've always been the person she looked up to, and now she thinks I'm trying to steal what's left of her world from her. I can't let her believe that, especially when it's not the truth. She needs to know." Sarah nodded and, pushing herself up a bit by steadying herself on Palmer's knees, pressed her lips on Palmer's and smiled. "As soon as the storm lets up, we can head on out," Sarah said, "it just isn't safe at the moment." "What if it doesn't let up?" Palmer whispered, on the verge of tears, "what if she's already in danger?" And it wasn't a ridiculous question, because it was already coming true. *** Dodie's eyes fluttered open, as her surroundings came into blurry view. Part of why it was blurry was because of the fall she'd taken, while the other part was simply because it was raining so hard. Dodie groaned and sat up, gripping a nearby tree trunk and pushing herself to lean against it. Dodie pulled her helmet off and looked at it, noticing the enormous crack down the side, realizing that, had she not been wearing it when she fell and hit the tree, she likely would've died. Dodie looked around but she couldn't see Turnip anywhere, and figured he'd likely taken off to find shelter of his own thanks to the storm. Dodie put her hands on the fallen log and pushed herself up, stumbling, before falling back down, screaming. Her ankle was broken, and there was no way she would be moving from this spot. Lying in the muck against this log, Dodie couldn't believe how far her life had fallen in just a under a year. Her father was dead, her sister had stolen her best friend, and now she'd broken her ankle and lost her horse in a storm. The only saving grace to all of this appeared to be Adam, and therapy, two things which were intertwined thanks to him being the one to take her and pick her up. Those afternoons with Adam, when it felt like she had a father again, those were the only good times Dodie had lately, and she appreciated that. She wished Adam was here right now, honestly. He'd know how to help. Thunder rumbled overhead, and Dodie could feel the rain getting thicker. She knew if she didn't get up and try to move, she'd likely be lost amongst the mud and the rocks. Hell, the area could flood and, with her broken ankle, she could easily be swept away by the current. It felt like everything in the world was trying to kill her, and that was more than any 3rd grader should have to deal with on a day to day basis. Gripping the tree with her fingertips, Dodie pushed herself up, screaming at the pain shooting through her leg from her ankle, but she had to get up. She had to. She couldn't let herself be lost like this. She couldn't let herself be killed. If she died, hell, she might be reunited with her father. And that was not something she wanted anymore. *** "It's weird how a location can so effectively alter your taste," Adam said, biting into a sandwich while lying on the bed, "like, in the air, food tastes terrible, but in a room, food can taste great." "What about on a boat?" Reggie asked, standing at the table where their room service had been planted and searching through it for something she wanted. "Don't know, never been on a boat," Adam said, wiping his mouth on his robe sleeve, "but I would imagine it tastes weird. For some reason food in moving vehicles tastes weird. That's why everyone parks when they get drive through." Regina stopped, turned, and looked at him. After a moment she nodded. "That's...a hard theory to argue against," she said, the both of them laughing. Regina turned back to the table, picking out little odds and ends and placing them together on a plate before coming back to the bed and seating herself on it, eating beside Adam. It was weird, doing this...this...relationship stuff. Stuff she somehow never did with her husband. This umbrella category that houses what's considered "relationship" always confused Regina, but now she understood that the reason for that was because Michael never ONCE tried to do any of it, so she just assumed that anything that explained what you're supposed to experience in a relationship was just full of shit. "I know it's not exactly the weather we might've hoped for," Adam said, finishing his sandwich and leaning back against the headboard, sighing, "but it isn't too bad, honestly. This is kind of relaxing." "Very," Reggie said, biting into a chicken wing when she felt Adam touching the side of her face, brushing errant strands of hair from her cheek and making her blush as she asked through as mouthful of meat, "what are you doing?" "Just admiring you," Adam said, smiling, "love me a lady who can put away wings." "Well then buddy," Regina said, finishing her wing and putting the bare bone back on the plate, "do I have the girl for you! Her name is Regina, and she's pretty awesome." "Is she now?" Adam asked, the both of them laughing as he added, "she sounds amazing, honestly. Tell me more about her." Reggie blushed, laughing, and cuddled up to Adam. If this was what love was supposed to be, then whatever she had had with Michael was not love. Sure they had some laughs, some occasional nice moments, but it was never like this. Adam was genuinely interested in Regina, constantly trying to learn more about her and doing things for her, and Michael never did that beyond the initial stage of meeting and getting together, and even then his efforts were minimal at best. Reggie buried her face in Adam's neck, and smiled, sighing deeply. She couldn't believe how happy she was. And she wouldn't believe how miserable her daughters were. *** Sarah, standing at the entrance to the cave, sighed, tapping her foot on the ground. The storm wasn't letting up. She looked at the horses nearby and grimaced. She was going to have to take them back to the trailer, there was no other way for it to be. She couldn't let them sit out like this, it wasn't fair to them. Sarah turned and glanced cautiously over her shoulder at Palmer, who was getting her coat zipped back up, preparing to go find Dodie. After a moment, Sarah turned away from the cave entrance and walked to Palmer, taking her hands and kissing them softly. "You need to find her, you're right," Sarah said quietly, "so I'm going to take the horses back to the trailer since we're not that far and it's not safe for them to remain out like this, and you go search for Dodie. I'll come look for you guys once the horses are locked back up." With that they kissed before heading out of the cave and - Sarah taking the horses reigns in her hands and Palmer pulling her hat over her head - went their separate ways. Palmer had, honestly, no idea where to look. She would be lucky, she figured, if she didn't get lost or injured herself. Her boots squishing in the mud underfoot, her face pelted with the hardest raindrops she'd ever felt in her life, Palmer couldn't help but feel as though she were marching to her own death, but it was worth the risk if she managed to find Dodie in the midst of it all. She'd been through enough, she didn't need this on top of it. But where could she be? Dodie had taken off a bit before the storm had really gotten started, so she could quite literally be anywhere, and this worried Palmer. After all, she was a single college aged girl, not an experienced forest ranger with an entire search and rescue team at her beckon call. What could she really, realistically, do in this sort of situation besides carelessly trek into the unknown and hope against naivety that everything would be okay? But she wouldn't stop, she would find her, no matter what. She couldn't let her sister die out there like this. Their father had deserved it. Dodie didn't. More than that, however, Palmer just hoped Sarah would be able to find them both again once the horses were back in the trailer. If she could barely see in this rain, what chance did Sarah have in finding them? Palmer tugged at the collar of her coat, keeping it closed best she could to keep herself from being chilled. She just had to do what she could, do her best. It was, really, all she could do. Maybe Sarah would return with some help of some kind, or maybe Palmer and Dodie would just die out here in the wilds of this forest, leaving their mother with no semblance of a family anymore. Whatever the outcome might be - and Palmer managed to imagine many of them in her short time walking - one thing always came back to her as the truth.. ...if they got out of this, no matter how it happened, Dodie deserved to know what was going on. Palmer swore she wasn't going to become their father and keep everything in the dark from her family, her sister especially. As long as she was alive, she was going to fight tooth and nail against being the kind of person their father had been, no matter what it took. *** Dodie had not made it very far. In fact, with her ankle the way it was, she'd only made it a few feet really before finally collapsing again on an enormous flat rock, crawling up it and perching upon it since it was elevated enough to keep her safe from the flooding, at least momentarily. She splayed her legs out straight on the rock, unable to sit cross legged or with her knees to her chest like she would prefer, and groaned as she stretched her ankle. The thunder rumbled overhead but the rain seemed to be letting up a bit at least and Dodie could now see a little bit better than she could before. Why had they even come out here? What had been the point of this little excursion? She would've been perfectly happy to stay at the stable and do grooming, they didn't have to go for a ride. Just then, she heard the sound of water sloshing on rocks nearby, and turned to see Palmer coming through the brush. As their eyes locked, Dodie turned and looked away, wanting to see anyone else but her sister right now. Palmer stumbled her way towards the large flat rock and, gripping it best she could in the rain, pulled herself up onto it. Lying there on her stomach, Palmer took a few long breaths before rolling herself onto her back, looking up at the sky overhead before glancing at Dodie, who still wouldn't acknowledge her. "Dod," Palmer said, panting, trying to get her breath back, "thank god I found you." "Yeah, let's thank god," Dodie mumbled as Palmer tried to sit up; Palmer then noticed the redness in Dodie's ankle. "Did you hurt yourself?" she asked. "You hurt me," Dodie said, "you said you never would, and then you did. You're just like dad." "I am NOT like dad," Palmer said sternly, "Dodie, we need to get you out of here and somewhere they can check out your ankle, it looks really bad and-" "Why won't anyone tell me what's going on?" Dodie finally asked, now turning to face her sister; Palmer was unable to tell if Dodie was crying thanks to the rain, but her eyes definitely looked red, and she was wiping her face down with her sweater sleeve; Dodie continued, "nobody will tell me what's happening, and it isn't fair! Aunt Emily won't tell me why she's here, and mom won't tell me why she's so sad, and Adam is the only one who really pays me any attention! And then there's you..." Palmer felt her heart sink. "What about me, Dodie?" she asked weakly. "Why are you taking my friend away? Sarah was my friend first, she's my trainer, why are you spending all your time with her? It was never hard for you to make friends, and now you're away at college and you can have other friends, but you have to come home and take away my friend? It isn't fair, it's selfish," Dodie said, sniffling, and now Palmer could understand just how hurt her little sister felt. Dodie continued, "I just want to understand why everything is changing around me, because it wasn't this way just a little bit ago. First dad dies, and now all this?" "...there's something I need to tell you," Palmer said quietly, "about me. And Sarah." As Palmer let her story unfold to her little sister, she could sense that Dodie felt appreciative. Here, finally, was an adult telling her the unvarnished truth, and explaining how it had nothing to do with her. How she wasn't to blame, and wasn't at fault, and it wasn't intentional to hurt her. How she'd never been certain of herself, and how that boy had treated her, and how Sarah had treated her differently, and how she'd finally come to understand who she was. How she and Sarah weren't 'friends'. And Dodie, once it was all said and done, hugged her big sister harder than she ever had before, whispering 'thank you' repeatedly. And when Sarah finally found them a half hour later, the rain had let up, the storm had died down, and all seemed well. Sometimes it's true. All you need is a horsey ride. *** Adam relaxed, resting his head on the rim of the hot tub and shutting his eyes. He heard the water move, and opened one eye halfway to see Regina climbing back inside, holding two beers in her hands, holding one out to him. He took it, thanked her, then popped the cap off and started drinking as Reggie let herself disappear beneath the warm superheated waters. "We've spent a lot of time in the aqua today," Adam said, making her laugh. "Indeed we have," she replied, "but it's nice. One was something we didn't choose to get caught in, and the others were things we did of our own volition, and yet I think it's the storm that will make the better memory. It's the things you don't expect to be fun that you recall with the most clarity." "Yeah, like giving birth," Adam said, making her laugh loudly as she opened her beer and took a long swig as well. "Well, here's to hoping one day you won't have to know that pain yourself," she said after drinking and Adam shrugged. "The miracles of modern science," he remarked, "maybe I'll do it just for the experience." "It's pregnancy, not a roller coaster," Regina said, chuckling. Together the two of them sat in the hot tub and drank, just relaxing and enjoying the night sky overhead. It had been so long since Regina had had some time to herself like this. When Michael was still alive and she suggested they take a trip, he'd begrudingly agree, only to then spend most of the time away from her. Not that Reggie minded. She just relaxed by herself and, quite frankly, after a while she got used to not having him around. Perhaps that's why his death ultimately didn't leave too much of a gaping hole in her heart, because he'd removed himself from it long before that. At least he did one thing for her, she figured. |